Hello everyone, I know I skipped a week... I promise it has nothing to do with writer's block. Quite the opposite. I have so many ideas and I sometimes do not know where to start or where to stop. The post I started writing for you last week has turned into a series. This change in direction has created a little bit of a delay as I organize my ideas.
I am also working on my upcoming Your Invincible Power Workshop coming July 6, 2019. It is a day long interactive workshop that will provide you with knowledge and tools to help you unleash the power within you. I must warn you, there are only a total 20 spaces available. Hurry! Don't wait to register.
Pamela Hamilton, W.T. Hamilton (authors of Your Invincible Power books) and I look forward to sharing the secrets we have discovered regarding the Law of Attraction and how to make it work in your favor. We do recommend you read the book before attending the workshop. We have so much to teach you and we want you to get the most out of this amazing workshop we have prepared for you. So, don't wait another minute and register now!
When we think of love, we usually think about romantic love. Romantic love is great, but there is a love even greater than that. A love that will allow you to grow more, be more, and love more. Whitney Houston sang about it and when you listen to the words of her song, The Greatest Love, it makes so much sense. Sadly, few people realize that all the happiness they search for they can find within and this love of self will open you up to even greater experiences with others.
Most of us search for a happiness provided by external circumstances, but nothing - absolutely nothing - can ever make us happy unless we have the greatest love of all, the love of self.
Why does loving yourself seem so difficult?
First, we try to live up to other people’s standards. Society and Media are the two biggest culprits to our illusions of how we should act and look, of what we should acquire or possess. We get pulled in every direction as these standards change with the seasons and the trends. It is a vicious circle that can never be fulfilled as the standards are ever changing. Worst, these goals are completely superficial and can never fill the void inside.
STOP!!! Take a minute and shut all that noise out. Take a blank page and write down the things that actually make YOU happy. Leave the outside world out of this reflection. Pay no attention to what others may think.
1- What are the things that make you feel good? Remember there are no right or wrong answers. Be true and honest with yourself.
2- How can you include more of these things in your life?
Once you have answered those two questions, make a plan to start including more of the things that make you happy. If there are obstacles in the way such, as time or money - the most common ones, take a look at everything that is currently in your life and eliminate the things that do not bring you value. Some examples could be reducing the amount of time spent watching television or getting up earlier to give yourself more time. If your obstacle is money, look at all your expenses and find an area you can cut or reduce. There are many blogs and programs that can help you figure out the budget and time management aspects. One particular book I recommend to gain control over your finances is Money, Master the Game by Tony Robbins.
Why do we look to the outside world to make us happy?
We are constantly bombarded with ads trying to sell us something new. The marketing is done in such a way as to make you feel like you NEED whatever they are selling. Marketers are playing with your feelings and your self-esteem in order to get your money. It’s all part of the rat-race that companies and money hungry people are putting ahead of everything else. But the truth is that there is no amount of money or material goods that can atone you.
Living the traditional model
Then we have the pressures from society to follow a certain model. Too often we are made to feel bad if we are not following the traditional model of the “happy couple” or “happy family”. So much pressure is put upon all of us to be in a relationship or to be the “perfect” parent. Who decided what the norms are? And why would we want everyone to follow the same path? If you take a moment to think about it, it makes absolutely no sense.
Our world is so much richer from the diversity of the people that occupy this amazing planet. If we were all the same our planet would look something like Mars Needs Moms or WALL-E. I certainly would not want to live like either of those groups. In the first movie, the whole planet is run military style and all the males are rejected and in the second movie, they are living an eternal life of leisure - all-inclusive vacation style. Either may seem interesting for a short period of time, but neither is sustainable.
Is being single really that bad?
Then we have the people that are not in a relationship feeling the pressure from society. To all the single people out there, you have the greatest love. Whitney Houston said it best; “Learning to love yourself, It is the greatest love of all…” If you are single it is because you love yourself enough not to settle. You are still hopeful and looking for a great love. Respect for self is great love for self.
Let’s learn to be lovers again. Lovers of self and lovers of our partner, if we are lucky enough to have found someone with whom to share our greatest Love. Love is something we must nurture every single day.
Dream - Believe - Plan - Execute - Become - Share
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Everyone sees us differently. Their image of you will depend on many factors. When we take a moment to think about it it almost sounds silly because it is so obvious. We all wear the filters of our experiences, our beliefs, our values, our dreams, our desires, etc… kind of like a camera filter.
Let’s go back to our mirrors and think about the mirrors in a funhouse. How are all of these reflections so distorted? Although there is a scientific explanation to the phenomenon of the mirrors, I want to focus on the analogy of people’s perceptions. So, let’s take a moment to think about our perception of others.
How long does it take you to decide whether you like someone or not?
On what is that decision based?
We often make up our mind about a new acquaintance within seconds. Why is that? How can we do this so quickly?
Which of you should I believe? Which reflection is my true reflection?
Ever notice how our reflection looks different in every mirror? Some mirrors send back an image we like, some make us feel bad about ourselves. I have often wondered why that was and which mirror was accurate. I even wondered if there was a specific mirror that was sending back the image of how other people saw me.
I thought about it for a long time before I realized that people’s view of me was exactly like ALL of those mirrors. Not one was the same. In fact, everyone I know sees me in a different light. It all depends on how much they know me, on which parts of our lives we share, and on their own personal experiences as well.
That’s right, we make assumptions according to past experiences with people we do know or have known. Are we always right? Of course not! But it does not stop us from making quick assumptions about people.
Now, turn the tables around. How do others see you? Where does that perception of you come from?
If a person is shorter than you, they will see you as tall. If they are thinner than you, they may see you a chubby. If they are shy and you are confident, they may see you as assertive or arrogant depending on past experiences and their current frame of mind.
Everyone sees everyone through the filters of their past experiences. So, who sees the REAL you? Can anyone outside yourself see you in the same light as you see yourself? Even WE see ourselves according to our environment and the people in our lives. So, what is the true image of ourselves? Which is the true reflection? It is what you decide it to be. You are free to create the reflection you wish. It may require some work, but life is a journey in which we are meant to grow and continuously evolve. You are free to transform yourself and your life into anything you allow yourself to believe.
Believe - Plan - Execute - Become - Share
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I will not apologize and I will not make excuses. I am guilty of getting distracted and sidetracked by life. The more projects I work on the more vulnerable I am to being distracted or pulled in different directions. This is true for all of us. Our level of distractibility may vary, but this is an area on which I must work extra hard to avoid missing my deadlines.
It is easy to get distracted when we work from home. It requires strong discipline to maintain a regular schedule. One of my practices is to get up extra early in order to get some work done before the kids get up. But even that can be challenging when you have kids that like to be up early with you. I had to put down a rule so that my little early bird stayed in his bed until 6 a.m. Yeah! That’s right. I have to get up at 5 a.m. in order to get some alone time to work on my writing projects.
But there are many other distractions throughout the day and week that will steer me off course if I am not careful. Friends wanting to get together for coffee, running errands during the day when stores are less busy, housework, various appointments, … and the list can go on and on.
How can we avoid falling in the trap of distractions?
First, create a schedule. Yes, I know it sounds quite obvious and it is, but the hard part is sticking to your schedule. When a friend asks you out for coffee, or the school requests a meeting, or emails keep popping up, or notifications about educational videos (which I save for my workout on the treadmill), etc. The list is endless. So, how can we avoid falling in the trap of distractions?
There are many articles and videos suggesting different strategies. Here are some of my favorite strategies;
I love working from home. There are many perks to having this flexibility, but it does require great discipline. In order for our environment to respect our time, we must do so ourselves and it starts with self-discipline, routines, deadlines, and a clear schedule.
Believe - Plan - Execute - Become - Share
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Too many subjects are sugar-coated and censored in order to avoid offending others, but I believe that we sometimes need to hear it straight up in order to have an educated view.
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